©Equipping Pastors International, Inc.
Dr. Jack L. Arnold
Lesson 1
1 Corinthians
7:14
What is the first concern of every spiritually
minded Christian parent? Is it not that the children should be saved? Why?
Because God has given this desire based on the covenant family concept. A
covenant family is a family with at least one Christian parent. The ideal
covenant family is where the father, who is the head of the family, and the
mother are both Christians, directing and training their children in spiritual
matters concerning Christ and salvation.
Most Christians have never heard of the covenant
family because they have little or no concept of covenant theology, however,
many Christians are living in a practical way to direct and train their
children in ChristÕs salvation. Most people have a practice that far exceeds
their theology, but when they do get exposed to the biblical basis for the
salvation of children, it strengthens, solidifies and comforts parents in their
desire to see their children saved and serving Christ.
COVENANT
FAMILIES PRIOR TO ABRAHAM
The covenant family concept can be traced back to
GodÕs covenant with Abraham, although the concept of the father being the
priest over the family goes back to the beginning of mankind.
Job was the head of his family and made sacrifices
for his children. ÒEarly in the morning
he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, ÔPerhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their
hearts.Õ This was JobÕs regular customÓ (Job 1:5). God gave Job the right
and the authority to act on behalf of his children.
The example of Job teaches us that God has set apart
a believing family (covenant family), and that parents are to plead with God
for conversion and sanctification of their children.
Noah and his family were delivered from the flood
because of NoahÕs faith. ÒThe LORD then said to Noah, ÔGo into the
ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this
generation.Ó ÒBy faith Noah, when
warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his
family. By his faith he condemned
the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.Ó (Gen. 7:1;
Heb. 11:7). Noah acted as a
representative for the whole family.
Noah is an example to future ages that the faith of
a believing, righteous parent obtains a blessing not for himself alone, but for
the children as well. One of NoahÕs son Ham, who had a shady character, was
delivered from physical judgment for his fatherÕs sake and by his fatherÕs
faith.
What we see in the lives of both Job and Noah is
GodÕs dealings with the family as the basic unit. God regards the family as an organic unity with the father
as its head and representative priest.
This is the basic nucleus of a covenant family; therefore, we conclude
that covenant families were in existence prior to the Abrahamic Covenant,
although we are not specifically told this in the Bible.
According to the Book of Genesis, God appeared to
Abraham thousands of years ago and made a covenant with him. In this covenant (which is called the
Abrahamic Covenant), God promised Abraham material blessings (the land
of Palestine forever, and a great physical or natural seed, the physical Jews),
and spiritual blessings (the Jew would be a great blessing to the world,
and Messiah would come through AbrahamÕs physical seed).
The Abrahamic Covenant promised salvation by grace
through faith in Messiah. The salvation aspect of the Abrahamic Covenant has
been theologically called the Covenant of Grace. In the Covenant of Grace, God promises to save all of His
elect on the basis of faith in Messiah. No physical Jew was born saved; he
could not be a recipient of the spiritual aspects of the covenant made to
Abraham apart from believing in Jehovah God that He would send Messiah. ÒAbram believed the LORD, and he credited it
to him as righteousnessÓ (Gen. 15:6).
The Abrahamic Covenant also included blessings to
children. God made a covenant and promised to be the God of Abraham and the
God of AbrahamÕ s children. ÒI will establish my covenant as an
everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the
generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after youÓ
(Gen. 17:7). Notice carefully
that God entered into covenant with AbrahamÕs seed, his children, his
descendants, his posterity, so in GodÕs mind the seed of Abraham are rightful
heirs of the Abrahamic Covenant generally and the Covenant of Grace in
particular.
Obviously, this is not a promise to save all the
physical seed of Abraham, for history shows that all Jews were not saved. This means the physical seed of Abraham
had a special place of blessing because they had God-fearing parents
as was Abraham. Certainly, children of true believers have spiritual advantages
not possessed by children of unbelievers.
God entered into covenant with Abraham and his
children and they in turn had the responsibility to keep the covenant by faith
and obedience. ÒThen God said to Abraham, ÔAs for you, you
must keep my covenant, you and your descendants after you for the generations
to come. This is my covenant with you and your descendants after you, the covenant
you are to keep: Every male among you shall be circumcisedÓ (Gen. 17:9-10). The external sign of the covenant in
the Old Testament was circumcision. On the eighth day every Jewish father had
his male son circumcised to show his personal belief that God would keep His
covenant. The circumcision meant
nothing to the child, and certainly the child could not believe and repent;
nevertheless, the child was circumcised as a sign and seal of the covenant
(Rom. 4:10-12). This act of
circumcision symbolized the fatherÕs faith, and was a recognition that the
child was under the covenant
and would be spiritually placed in
the covenant when he believed for himself.
Circumcision did not place the child under the
covenant but physical birth did and this made him a potential heir of the
covenant, placing the child within the visible people of God, the covenanted
community. The child was
heir by birthright. Circumcision while
an important act of obedience by the parents was only an external, outward
sign.
My aim in this message is not to argue over whether
the sign in the Old Testament of circumcision was replaced by the sign of water
baptism in the New Testament, or whether the sign would be placed on infants of
Christians or only on those who believe in Christ. These are valid theological issues and Baptists and
Presbyterians have been battling these issues for almost 500 years. My personal convictions are that the
sign and seal of water baptism should be placed on infants of believing
parents, and that is one of the reasons IÕm a Presbyterian. The truth that both must agree upon is
that children are part of the covenant by promise and have certain privileges
and benefits that no child born into an unbelieving family has. The devil would get us fighting over the
sign that is merely a symbol so as to make us forget the truth that our
children are part of the covenant and potential heirs to salvation.
Other Examples
As we leaf through the Old Testament, we see how at
the Exodus, when the children of Israel left Egypt, the blood of the Passover
Lamb not only covered children able to believe but also infants. No first born male child was touched by
the death angel, and whole families left Egypt. Male children who could not believe were covered by the
faith of believing parents in a covenant family. Also, when Israel was getting ready to enter the land of
Canaan, Moses mentioned the covenant and this included Òthe little onesÓ.
(Deut. 29:11). Joshua also
believed in the God of the covenant and not only pledged himself but his family
to a faithful keeping of the covenant, for he said, ÒAs for me and my house, we shall serve the LORDÓ (Joshua 24:15).
Galatians 3:16, 29
The New Testament makes it clear that the spiritual
blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant belong to the Church of Christ because the
Church has a relationship to Abraham as his spiritual seed. ÒUnderstand
this, that those who believe are children of Abraham;Ó ÒSo those who have faith
are blessed along with Abraham, the men of faith;Ó ÒHe redeemed us in order
that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ
Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit;Ó ÒIf you
belong to Christ, then you are AbrahamÕs seed and heirs according to the
promiseÓ (Gal. 3:7, 9, 14, 29). The church is spiritual seed because of
Abraham whether Jews or Gentiles because they believe in Messiah who is the
ultimate fulfillment of the covenant.
ÒThe promises were spoken to
Abraham and to his seed. The scripture does not say Òand to seeds,Ó meaning
many people, but Òand to your seed,Ó meaning one person, who is ChristÓ (Gal.
3:16).
Acts 2:38-39
On the Day of Pentecost, the Apostle Peter told the
adult physical Jews and Jewish proselytes present that they were Òto repent and
be baptizedÓ for the forgiveness of sins.
Upon their reception of Christ, they would receive the Holy Spirit.
ÒPeter replied, ÔRepent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name
of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy SpiritÕÓ (Acts
2:38). This promise, however,
was not just to adults but also to their children. ÒThe promise is for
you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord
our God will callÓ (Acts 2:39).
The promise is that of salvation which included the Holy Spirit and this
promise is an integral part of the Abrahamic Covenant.
Acts 2:39 tells us that GodÕs covenant people can
claim all the blessing of the Abrahamic Covenant for themselves and their
children in the Church age.
Note carefully that all the children of believing
parents were potential, rightful heirs to the covenant but the covenant is only
effective to those who are sovereignly called to salvation; that is, those who
believe in Messiah (Christ) and the covenant.
The Messiah and the Christian message first went to
the Jews and for the first seven years there were no Gentiles in the Church.
The Jews always understood the covenant to include their Òlittle onesÓ (Deut.
29: 10-12). Therefore, these Jews
to whom the Apostle preached knew they were spiritual seed of Abraham when they
believed and were partakers of the covenant (Acts 3:25). They also understood their children
were under the covenant and potential heirs to the covenant if they too would
believe in Christ. A Jew would
have repudiated Christianity if he thought there were no promises for the
salvation and blessing of his children. Thousands of Jews became Christians. How quickly the Pharisees and other
enemies of the gospel among the Jews would have seized upon the fact of
children being left out of the covenant promises had such a defect appeared in
the Christian religion. But no
objections were ever raised, for the children were not excluded.
1 Corinthians 7:14
ÒFor the
unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, an unbelieving wife
has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children
would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.Ó
There was no question among the early Christians that two believing
parents and their children enjoyed covenant privileges, blessings and benefits which children of non-Christian homes did not enjoy. Difficulty arose over the fact
that there were instances, especially among the Gentiles who were saved, where
only one parent was a believer.
Furthermore, in same cases the believing parent was not the father but
the mother. They wanted to know
whether their children were accepted with the believing parent or cast off with
the unbelieving parent. The words
ÒsanctifiedÓ and ÒholyÓ come from the Greek word root that means Òto set
apart.Ó Paul says the unbelieving
children were set apart to God because of the believingÕ parent, and this
regardless whether the believing parent was the father or mother.
This does not say the children are saved. Yet Òto set apartÓ implies certain
spiritual privileges. One believing parent sets apart the whole marriage and
the children are regarded as children of the covenant to whom the promises
rightfully belong.
What is the inheritance these heirs are promised to
receive? Is it salvation? No. They do not inherit salvation, for salvation is not
hereditary. Children inherit the
promises of God. They inherit the
assurance that GodÕs favor is directed towards them because they are children
of believers. They inherit the fellowship and protection of the church.
They inherit the privilege of sitting under the
gospel, and understanding who Christ is and what He
came to do. Covenant children have
a great source of encouragement.
Yet, they are also put under great obligation to come to Christ in an
act of personal faith.
Parents
Parents have definite responsibilities in a covenant
family. While the Covenant of
Grace to parents includes a provision for their children, it is not an
automatic thing. Parents have duties and responsibilities to their children as
covenant parents.
Louis Berkhof in the book Foundations For Christian Education said, ÒIt may be said that when
Christian parents make such a promise they promise more than they can
accomplish, for they cannot guarantee spiritual renewal; nor does God expect or
require it of them. They make
their promise entirely on the strength of the promises of God. If they promise to intercede for their
children, to educate them in the fear of the Lord, and to set them an example
of true Christian piety, they simply promise to utilize the means
which God has ordained for the realization of the covenant life in their
children. And they have the
blessed assurance that God will enable them to meet these covenant
requirements.Ó
Love
Parents are to love their children and the children
are to sense that their parents love is due to the
love of Christ within them.
Children will basically learn to love God by the love they see in their
parents. To love our children
means we spend time with them, cultivate them and provide for them. Often we
make major decisions based on our covenant love for our children.
Many years ago when are children were young, Carol and I were trying to get our priorities in life
straight. We asked ourselves what our number one priority was. We concluded it was to see our children
saved and to be with them in heaven.
Based on that priority, we have made many decisions.
Discipline
Parents must balance love with discipline of
children. ÒFor what son is not disciplined by his father? . .
. More over, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected
them for it . . . Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they though
best.Ó Children who learn to
obey parents are more likely to obey God, for the rebellious spirit is
weakened. Children also learn to
fear God through their parents, especially the father.
My oldest son Mark said in his younger days he did not fear God but
feared his Dad. Today he fears God
and not his Dad.
Train
Parents are given the responsibility of training
their children in spiritual things. ÒTrain a child in the way he should go
and when he is old he will not turn from itÓ (Prov. 22:6). ÒThese commandments that I give you
today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home
and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and
bind them on your foreheads. Write
them on the door frames of your houses and on your gatesÓ (Deut. 6:6-9).
To train is not only to teach hard, cold facts about
the Bible but to influence that child in a positive
manner towards Christ. Christian
parents are training their children to accept the parentsÕ God through their
own personal faith.
This is why some Christian parents send their
children to a Christian school or home-school, they
want the home, the church and the school to be consistent in the training of
their children under the covenant.
Example
The parent is to live by example before the
children. In early life, children
are copying their parents for both good and bad. Impressions are communicated to children and make a permanent
impact on the life of a child. It
is not so much what a parent says as what he does that impresses a child. The parentÕs life is the single
greatest witness to children. Quite often I speak to adult Christians who
strayed away from the church in their teens and early twenties and then came to
Christ late in life. They tell me
it was the life of their Christian parents that they could not shake from their
thinking. They could rationalize scripture but could not deny their parents
knew God. When our first son Mark was going through such a rebellious period,
denying Christ and all of his Christian heritage, Carol and I decided to get
off his back and to rededicate ourselves to Christ, and God graciously answered
our prayer, giving us a son with a heart for Jesus. Christian parents need to stop pressuring their children
about spiritual things and instead live a positive, dynamic life for Christ
before their kids. We can drive our children away by making them do Christian
things when they are not Christians, and this is especially true in the teenage
years. Christian parents need to
instruct their children when they are young and as long as they want
instruction. Yet, there comes a
time when children in a Christian home do not listen much. Then the Christian parents need to walk
very close to God and to pray, pray, and pray!
If parents are not faithful to keep their end of the
covenant, they cannot expect God to save their children. Faithful parents can have some
confidence that God will do a saving work in their children. However, there can be faithful
parents who have rebellious children because the children hate Christ. Even a child raised in a Christian home
must make a personal decision for Christ.
Often Christian parents go on tremendous guilt trips when their children
are not converted. They blame
themselves for their childÕs rebellion.
Surely no parent has ever raised children perfectly; most of us make
many mistakes, but the child also has some responsibility in the covenant. It
is to believe in Christ and the Covenant for himself or herself. Ultimately the Covenant comes
down to GodÕs sovereign grace and the childÕs willingness to believe.
Augustine was raised in a Christian home under the
supervision of his godly mother, Monica.
He was very rebellious to Christ, and when he went off to college, he
lived a debauched life, having conceived an illegitimate son when he was only
17. He accepted the philosophy of
the world and was far from Christ as any person could be. Monica never stopped praying for the
salvation of her son, although one time she almost gave up. Ambrose encouraged Monica by saying, ÒA
child of so many prayers surely will not be lost.Ó Around the age of 30,
Augustine was marvelously saved and became the leading theologian of the late
fourth and early fifth centuries.
Believe
Although the children of believers are placed under
the covenant and its promises at birth, and although they have the possibility
of confirming that covenant by faith in later years, not all will truly
exercise faith. Not all will
inherit the promised blessing.
They may reject Christ even though they have been given special
advantage and privilege. Children
raised in Christian homes are placed under the obligations of the covenant to
believe in Christ. If they reject Christ, they are Covenant breakers, and to be
a covenant breaker is to be under far greater responsibility before God. God will give grace to covenant
children who respond to their godly training, but woe to those covenant children
who knowingly despise their covenant heritage.
Accept
Covenant children are to accept the covenant they
have been taught by their parents.
A child raised in a Christian home must come to a point of decision when
he decides that the God of his parents is his God. Children in a Christian home have been raised with an
understanding of Christ, the gospel and the covenant. When they come to Christ,
they do believe but they also do not reject their covenant heritage. If they turn away from Christ, they openly
declare their rejection of God and His covenant of salvation in Christ. When a child in a Christian home
believes in Christ, he confirms the covenant made with his parents and their
children. They come to the point where they say, ÒDad and momÕs Christ is now
my Christ! I affirm my right to
the covenant and believe for myself, accepting the responsibilities and duties
of the covenant.Ó
We raise our children as though they were
Christians. We teach them to pray, to memorize scripture and the catechism, to sing ÒJesus loves me this I know.Ó When they come to the point of decision, that decision is
not to reject their Christian heritage but to accept Christ and His covenant,
and to follow the God of their parents, who is the Trinitarian God of the Bible.
COVENANT
FAMILIESÕ ADVANTAGES
There are some definite advantages to being part
of a covenant family.
Positive Presumption
Because children are related to the covenant,
parents can have positive presumption that their children will one day be saved. Parents know their children are sinful,
lost and need Christ to be saved.
But parents also know that children have been born into their Christian
home with tremendous benefits, blessings and advantages. It is reasonable to assume God would
use the home as a major means of bringing the children to Christ. Surely every Christian parent must face
the fact that his child nay never be saved, but Christians can claim the
promises of God and plead the covenant for the salvation of their children.
Knowing GodÕs promises gives the parents hope and
confidence not a negative spirit about the destiny of their children.
John Newton had a pious mother who instructed her
son and prayed for him, and this made an impression on him, which sunk deep
into his heart. He became very
wicked and lived a profligate sailorÕs life. Often when he was deep in midnight revelry, he would
imagine he felt the soft hand of his mother upon his head, pleading with God to
forgive and bless her boy. Newton
was finally saved, and later used by God to lead thousands to the Savior. It was John Newton who wrote the words
of the famous hymn, ÒAmazing Grace, how
sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.Ó
Positive Blessing
Children of believing parents, if not saved, at
least get many blessings in common grace - the privilege of a godly home; the
care and protection of Christian parents, the privilege of hearing the Bible,
the benefit of mingling with GodÕs people so as to be exposed to less gross
sin. The benefit to an unbelieving
child in a covenant family, although short of saving benefit, is nonetheless of
great value.
Positive Assurance In the
Death Of An Infant
The Bible is not clear as to whether all children
who die in infancy are saved. In
fact, the only clear verses we have on the subject are related to children who
die in covenant families. We
cannot be dogmatic as to where children of unbelievers go after death, heaven
or hell. We must leave the
children of unbelieving parents in the hands of a loving, sovereign God who
does all things right and well. However, parents of a covenant family have hope
for infants who die as seen in the loss of King DavidÕs son. ÒBut now that he is
dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he
will not return to meÓ (2 Sam. 12:23).
Are you a child that has been raised in a Christian
home, yet you hate Christ, hate church, hate GodÕs people? Do you long for the day you can get
away from your parents and live as you please? Think twice before you reject the God of your parents! God has placed you in a Christian home
so you can hear the truth—a tremendous advantage. DonÕt reject your covenant
privilege. DonÕt reject your
Christian heritage.
Bow to Christ. Accept the true God, the God of scripture and the God of
your parents. Children of the
covenant who reject Christ are doubly guilty, and if you die without Christ your
punishment will be greater in hell because you turned from the promises of
salvation, God gave you through your parents.
Are you an unbelieving parent? Do you have children
who trouble you, who do things even you would not do? Unbelieving parent, turn to Christ. Trust Him as your Savior. Bow to Him as Lord.
Become part of GodÕs covenant.
When you believe, you will establish a Christian home, a covenant
family, and you will have some promises from God to deal with your wayward
children. Trust Christ and begin a
new spiritual family in Christ.
I have a friend named Paul. His brother Bill led him to the Lord
and later Bill apostatized from Christianity. Bill said to Paul, ÒI have stopped believing in Christ and
so has my family.Ó Paul answered,
ÒI believe in Christ and so does my family. Bill, you have ended a spiritual family; we are just
beginning a great spiritual covenant family under Christ.Ó